I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
