He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
