She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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