I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
well you can't waste a boner
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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