I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
