you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
