i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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