We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
