He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
