Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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