Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
