Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
