My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
