You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
