He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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