I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
