I puked a lego.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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