oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
