she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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