Don't you send me to vm
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
