so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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