there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My ass is underappreciated
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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