i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
