i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
