Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
