hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I will pee on everything he values.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
