i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
