we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
