And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize