Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
