Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
