Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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