im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
