we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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