Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
