I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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