No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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