I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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