I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
