She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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