HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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