I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
