its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
