you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
