i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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