i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ugly people sure do ruin things
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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