I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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