this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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