he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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