Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
