it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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