..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
