I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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