I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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