im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
