i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
