I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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