Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
