theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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