Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just had sex bonerless
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
