I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My dick has a subreddit
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